You Make Sense is a manual to understanding your human experience, so that you can navigate the world with freedom, ease, and empowerment. Using the latest neur...
This episode uncovers the hidden roles we carry in relationships—roles that often date back to our earliest experiences and shape how we connect with others. From being the “caretaker” to the “perfectionist,” these familiar patterns tend to influence our choices and interactions long after childhood, even if that role no longer serves us.With tools grounded in neuroscience and practical guidance, this conversation dives into what it takes to rewrite those outdated scripts. Listeners will learn simple steps to heal the past, break free from conditioned reactions, and start building relationships that align with who they truly are. It’s absolutely possible to embody a new role and make room for the connections that genuinely feel right.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:33 Why Do We Play the Roles We Play?02:19 Family Systems & the Origin of Our Roles07:13 Secure Attachment & Healthy Family Plays10:19 Many of Us Did Not Have a Healthy Family System13:57 Choosing Partners & “Compatability” 17:21 Healing Allows us to Write a New Role21:45 The Bumpy Road of Healing27:59 “How Can You Get Comfortable in Receiving When You’re a Giver?”39:06 Being of Service vs. Being of Sacrifice46:44 Why We Disconnect from Our Emotions54:16 “How Do You Forgive?”Waitlist Bonus Coming in 2025:Ready to start feeling better in the New Year? Navigating Your Nervous System is a 6-week, live course focused on the most important foundation of healing: nervous system regulation. Join the NYNS waitlist by January 5th for limited-time reduced pricing! https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlistConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Nervous System - The nervous system is central to understanding our emotional and relational patterns. It holds the embodied experience of past memories and influences how we respond to others, shaping the roles we play in our lives.Roles - The patterns we adopt in relationships, often influenced by early family dynamics. Common roles include caretaker, perfectionist, scapegoat, and the helpless one, which define how we interact with others. Changing these roles allows us to step out of limiting patterns and embrace more fulfilling connections.Family System - The family system is the foundation of our relational blueprint. It establishes our initial roles and influences how we navigate social dynamics, often carrying over into adult relationships.Attachment - Attachment refers to the emotional bonds formed with primary caregivers, impacting how we relate to others. Secure attachment fosters healthier relationships, while insecure attachment can lead to self-protective behaviors and dynamics. Healing attachment wounds enables us to build stable, supportive connections.Healing - Healing is the process of releasing old roles and expanding the nervous system’s capacity for change. It involves recognizing and shedding survival patterns and replacing them with practices that honor our true selves. Healing is an empowering journey toward self-discovery and authentic relationships.Patterns - Patterns are recurring behaviors that shape how we interact with others. These automatic responses often stem from unresolved past experiences and can hold us back. Using a somatic approach to transform these patterns is key to stepping into new roles and fostering growth.
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1:00:03
How to Tangibly Step Toward Your Purpose
Ever feel like stepping into a bigger life is tougher than it should be? In this episode, Sarah breaks down why we get stuck in old patterns and how our nervous system shapes the life we’re currently living. You’ll learn why even good changes—like deeper relationships or exciting career moves—can feel overwhelming or lead to self-sabotage. Using science-backed concepts and tools, Sarah will teach you how to practically build your nervous system’s capacity to hold the life you’re really wanting. By taking small, tolerable steps and working at the rate of your most apprehensive part, it’s possible to work with your nervous system to move toward a life full of connection and joy.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:32 Living the Bigger Life06:19 The Process of Building Our Capacity13:42 Our Purpose Often Leads to Our Healing17:39 What Lights You Up?19:36 How to Begin Working with Your Nervous System23:38 We Must Embody Where We Are Going28:05 One Tolerable Step at a Time30:49 There’s Always Room to Expand and Grow36:45 What to do When Good Opportunities Overwhelm Us41:29 Tangible Steps Toward Being SeenGrab Sarah’s FREE Workbook:Ready to gain control over your life? Click below to download Sarah’s free trauma-informed workbook. This in-depth guide will help you to harness the power of your nervous system and unlock your desires. https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:“Self-Sabotage” - This term can often feel shaming, but it is simply the nervous system’s way of protecting us from what it doesn’t yet know is safe by pushing away or leaving things we might actually deeply desire.Building Capacity - The gradual process of training the nervous system to hold more of the “good” in life and tolerate changes or stressors without triggering overwhelm. This is done by gently stepping toward new, safe experiences of what was once dangerous or inhibited in the past (like: being seen, taking up space, making mistakes, etc.).Nervous System Regulation - Techniques and strategies used to calm and stabilize the nervous system. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down responses and into a balanced state of presence and connection.“The Invisible Wall” - A term coined by Sarah used to describe what it feels like when we try to step toward what we’re wanting but are met with resistance and dysregulation within our nervous system.Parts Work - This approach seeks to integrate the fragmented younger parts of ourselves by coming to their aid and giving them love, safety, attunement, and connection. Under the umbrella of Parts Work, Internal Family Systems is the most well-known modality.Tolerable Steps - Small, bite-sized actions taken to gradually introduce new experiences and reduce the nervous system's stress response. These steps are essential for building internal safety and making sustainable progress toward larger goals.
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49:14
Parts Work: How Different Parts of Us Show Up in Our Lives
Although we may look our numeric age on the outside, we actually have many different parts or versions of ourselves within us. Using somatic Parts Work, also known as IFS or inner child healing, Sarah is going to show you how these different parts can inhabit our experience to influence the way we show up in our daily lives.When we come to the aid of these younger parts and give them the love, safety, attunement, and protection they didn’t receive in the past, it creates what Sarah calls internal co-regulation, so that we can begin spending more time moving through the world as our confident, capable adult self.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:23 What is Parts Work?04:37 Holistic Healing is Like a Web09:35 Each Part Has a Different Autonomic Tone16:17 Vulnerable Parts and Protective Parts22:44 Real Life Examples of Parts Show Up in Our Lives28:21 The Difference Between Young Parts and Adult Self33:34 How Do We Bring Together Fragmented Parts?37:20 All Parts of You Make Sense39:49 Focus on the Loudest Part First43:11 How to Deal with Multiple Parts Without Feeling Overwhelmed49:41 Two Ways to Create Internal Safety01:00:12 A Common Misconception About Real Love Join Sarah’s Email Community:Want more somatic tools straight to your inbox? Click below to join Sarah’s email community for weekly teachings and additional resources.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletterConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Parts Work - The therapeutic practice of differentiating from and coming to the aid of the younger parts of ourselves that fragment off of us and develop when we’ve experienced a trauma or overwhelm in the past. Under the umbrella of Parts Work, Internal Family Systems is the most well-known modality.Younger Part - This is any part that is younger than what our current numeric age is now. It can be a vulnerable part or a protective part.Most Vulnerable Part - This is a younger part that experienced a trauma or overwhelming event(s) where they were left helpless, unsupported and unsafe and remain stuck in the perpetual pain of that experience.Protective Part - This is often a younger part of us that developed in order to protect the most vulnerable parts from that pain, and might look like being “the do-er,” perfectionism, procrastination, etc.Nervous System Regulation - The process of managing the body's stress response and guiding your self-protective system to internal safety, which helps to resolve trauma, promote balance and wellbeing, and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.Regulating Resource: Tools or activities that discharge or get rid of activation in the body, helping to bring our system back into safety, rest, and regulation.Trauma Resolution: The process of healing from past trauma by addressing and releasing trapped energy and incomplete physical responses from the body.Embodiment: The practice of being fully present in and connected to your body and the sensations and feelings present within it, which is crucial for nervous system regulation and emotional healing.
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1:11:27
Why We Choose the Partners We Choose
Ever wonder why you keep choosing the same kind of partners? Sarah breaks it all down in this episode. She’s going to teach you how your nervous system is the one doing the matchmaking, drawing on your early childhood experiences to inform the way you show up in your adult relationships. Whether it’s romantic partnerships, friendships, or work dynamics, you’ll learn how to begin changing old patterns that no longer serve you.Many of us choose our partners out of a need for survival rather than from a place of choice. Sarah will give you powerful somatic tools to begin creating a new internal baseline for what love is, so that you can transform your relationships and step toward the secure attachments you’re desiring.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:17 Why We Choose the Partners that We Choose03:30 Your Early Childhood Experiences Lay the Blueprint07:30 The Threat Detector Picks Up On Subtle Cues10:16 Love From Choice or Love From Survival?14:39 Healthy Love Isn’t Infatuation19:21 Creating an Internal Secure Attachment21:25 Our Reactions Always Match Some Circumstance27:29 Developing the Ability for Self-Regulation31:43 We Can be a Combination of Different Attachment Styles37:00 Building Connection When Feeling IsolatedTake Sarah’s FREE Quiz:Ready to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?”, for personalized tools to regulate your nervous system and step toward the life you’re desiring. Get started below.https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quizConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Autonomic Nervous System - The body’s internal network that controls responses to stimuli and regulates our experiences of safety, fear, and connection. In the context of relationships, it drives automatic reactions based on past experiences stored in our internal "database."Neuroception - A subconscious process through which the nervous system detects safety or threats in our environment. It plays a key role in determining who we are drawn to in relationships, often based on past relational patterns.Attachment - Refers to the emotional bond we form with others, shaped by early relationships, particularly with caregivers. Our attachment style influences how we relate to others.Parts Work - A therapeutic process focused on identifying and healing the different "parts" of ourselves that were wounded in the past. It helps us reparent those parts and create internal safety, allowing us to make healthier relationship choices.Internal Safety - The feeling of security and stability that comes from within, rather than from external validation or relationships. Cultivating internal safety helps reduce anxiety and allows for more balanced, healthy relationships.Healing Work - The ongoing process of addressing past traumas and emotional wounds to create lasting change in our relational patterns and lives.Relationship Patterns - Recurring behaviors and dynamics that emerge in our relationships, often based on unresolved past experiences. Recognizing and changing these patterns is key to fostering healthier connections.
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41:44
Understanding Your Relationships: The Connection Between Attachment Theory & Polyvagal Theory
Ready to take a deep dive into understanding your relationships? Sarah breaks down the connection between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory, explaining how your autonomic nervous system shapes the way you show up in your romantic partnerships, friendships, family, job, finances, and more. Healing attachment wounds isn’t something you can simply “talk” your way into—it must be addressed somatically at the nervous system level.Through relatable examples, you’ll learn about the different attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how each one is a brilliant, adaptive response to our early childhood experiences. Whether you're stuck in difficult patterns or seeking a deeper understanding of your relationships, this episode is packed with actionable tools to guide you toward an earned secure attachment and healthier, more meaningful connections.Episode Highlights00:00 Intro00:15 The Connection Between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory03:53 The Origin of How We Relate to Others09:44 Anxious Attachment Style19:58 Avoidant Attachment Style25:58 Disorganized Attachment Style31:08 Secure Attachment Style38:47 What Attachment Style Does the Flight Response Connect To?44:19 How Do Somatic Practices Help in Healing Attachment Wounds?49:03 Some Things Can Only Be Healed in a Relational Dynamic56:04 Growing Up with Narcissistic Family Members01:02:43 The Process of Healthy Aggression Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook:Looking for tools to help you start feeling better? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How To Gain Control Over How You Feel,” to learn more about trauma’s role in keeping you stuck and how to begin healing at the nervous system level.Click here to download your copy:https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbookConnect with Sarah on:Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Sarahbaldwincoaching/Submit a Question:https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcastImportant Keywords:Polyvagal Theory - A scientific theory coined by Stephen Porges that explains how the autonomic nervous system controls our reactions to stress and connection.Attachment Theory - A psychological model that explains how early relationships with caregivers shape our ability to form healthy emotional bonds. Nervous System Regulation - The process of calming or balancing the nervous system to achieve emotional and physical stability. This is crucial for managing stress and maintaining healthy relationships.Anxious Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we feel safer when others are close and less safe when we’re alone.Avoidant Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where connection or closeness may feel overwhelming, even though a part of us deeply desires connection.Disorganized Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we may want people close, but when they are close, we will reflexively push them away and then desire closeness again.Somatics - Therapeutic tools used to address emotional struggles and trauma by healing it in the body, aiming to restore balance to the nervous system.
You Make Sense is a manual to understanding your human experience, so that you can navigate the world with freedom, ease, and empowerment. Using the latest neuroscience and trauma research, this podcast will equip you with powerful somatic tools to help you get unstuck and create the life you desire. Sarah Baldwin, SEP, is an expert on trauma resolution, attachment, parts work, and nervous system regulation. But before she was a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trained in Polyvagal interventions, she first came to this work as someone struggling to find relief. It was through her own healing that led her to become a trained professional, now helping thousands of people across her programs, courses, and classes to do the same.
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