The Art of Manliness

• Sleep Like a Caveman

  For several decades, people's reported sleep quality has declined. This, despite the fact that specially optimized sheets, mattresses, and sleep trackers have emerged during that time, and despite the fact that the amount of time people are sleeping hasn't decreased for over fifty years.In other words, people aren't sleeping less than they used to, but are less happy about their sleep than ever before.My guest would say that to improve our experience of sleep, we'd be better off looking past the reams of modern advice out there and back in time — way, way back in time.Today on the show, Dr. Merijn van de Laar, a recovering insomniac, sleep therapist, and the author of How toSleep Like a Caveman: Ancient Wisdom for a Better Night's Rest, will tell us how learning about our prehistoric ancestors' sleep can help us relax about our own. He explains that the behaviors we think of as sleep problems are actually normal, natural, and even adaptive. We talk about why hunter-gatherers actually sleep less than we think we need to, how their natural wake periods during the night might explain our own sleep patterns, the methods they use to get better sleep, and why our modern efforts to optimize sleep could be making it worse. Merijn shares when it's okay to use a smartphone before bed, the myth that you have to get eight hours of sleep a night, how to intentionally use sleep deprivation to improve your sleep, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: 22 Ways to Get a Better Night’s SleepAoM Article: What Every Man Should Know About SleepAoM Article: What to Do When You Can’t SleepAoM Article: The Importance of Building Your Daily Sleep PressureAoM Podcast #661: Get Better Sleep by Stressing About It LessAoM Podcast #736: Could Sleeping in Separate Beds Improve Your Relationship?Study: Hadza sleep biology — Evidence for flexible sleep-wake patterns in hunter-gatherersConnect With Merijn van de LaarMerijn's website

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• Familiarity Breeds Contempt (And Other Underappreciated Consequences of Digital Communication)

  There has been a lot of cultural discussion of the way digital technologies and social media contribute to things like political polarization and adolescent depression.But as I'll explore with Nicholas Carr, the author of Superbloom, our digital tools are also changing our ability to connect with others and our sense of self in less appreciated ways.Today on the show, Nicholas unpacks why the optimistic idea that more communication is always better hasn't panned out and how the speed and volume of modern communication is overwhelming our human capacity to process information and maintain meaningful relationships. We discuss why the "messiness" of pre-digital communication might have actually been better for us, how email has evolved from thoughtful letters to rushed messages, and why seeing more of people online often makes us like them less. Nicholas also explains why having different versions of ourselves for different contexts was actually healthy and the simple rubric for better managing our relationship with digital communication tools.Resources Related to the PodcastNicholas' previous appearances on the AoM podcast:Episode #276: Utopia is CreepyEpisode #632: How the Internet Makes Our Minds ShallowCharles Horton CooleyAoM Article: More Than Ever, the Medium Is the MessageConnect With Nicholas CarrNicholas' websiteNicholas' Substack, New Cartographies

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  53:38
• How to Use Leverage Points to Get Unstuck in Work and Life

  When people get stuck in their job or personal life, the common response is to either work harder or shrug and accept that "that's just the way things are."My guest today has a much better solution to getting moving and making progress again.Dan Heath is a bestselling author whose latest book is Reset: How to Change What's Not Working. Today on the show, Dan shares how to escape from ineffective systems and the inertia of continuing to do things the way they've always been done by pressing on leverage points — places where a little bit of effort yields disproportionate returns. Dan explains why you need "to go and see the work," why meaningful change requires "restacking resources," how short, focused "bursts" of effort often accomplish more than prolonged campaigns, how sometimes being inefficient can actually make us more effective, and more. Along the way, Dan shares plenty of stories and examples that illustrate how to implement these principles into your work, relationships, and family.Resources Related to the PodcastDan's previous appearance on the AoM podcast: Episode #591 — Solve Problems Before They Become ProblemsAoM Article: You Need a Reset DayAoM Podcast #896: The Art and Science of Getting UnstuckYouTube video: Spotify Engineering CultureConnect With Dan HeathDan's website

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  50:32
• Stop Saying Um (And Fix the Other Vocal Tics That Are Sabotaging Your Speaking)

  Think about a time you've had to speak in front of others — maybe during a work presentation, a wedding toast, or even on a first date. Did you struggle with using too many filler words, such as "um" and "like," talk too fast, or awkwardly ramble?Most of us try to fix these saboteurs of speech by giving ourselves mental mantras: "Slow down"; "Think about what you want to say."But my guest would say that becoming a more engaging and effective speaker comes down to realizing that it's a very physical act that requires getting out of your head and into your body.Michael Chad Hoeppner, a communication coach who has worked with everyone from presidential candidates to business executives, is the author of Don't Say Um: How to Communicate Effectively to Live a Better Life. Today on the show, Michael explains why you need to treat speaking as a sport and shares embodied drills and exercises — from playing with Legos to talking with a wine cork in your mouth to throwing a ball against a wall — that will fix common delivery problems, including eliminating ums, enhancing vocal variety, and managing your gestures.Resources Related to the PodcastAoM Article: Becoming Well-Spoken — How to Minimize Your Uhs and UmsAoM Podcast #698: The Secrets of Public Speaking From History’s Greatest OratorsAoM Podcast #732: Tips From a Top TED Talker on How to Be HeardConnect With Michael Chad HoeppnerGK TrainingDon't Say Um website Michael on LinkedInMichael on X

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  48:55
• Man's Search for Meaning, With Viktor Frankl's Grandson

  I first read Man's Search for Meaning by the neurologist, psychologist, and philosopher Viktor Frankl in high school, and I have re-read it several times since. It's one of the books that's had the biggest impact on my life, so it was a real treat to speak with Alexander Vesely, Frankl's grandson, about his grandfather's ideas and legacy.Today on the show, I talk to Alexander, who is a documentarian, and like his grandfather, a psychotherapist, about Frankl's life, his development of logotherapy, a type of meaning-centered therapy, and how that approach to the psyche was tested during Frankl's time in the concentration camps. We discuss why Frankl said that "everyone has their own Auschwitz," how a lack of existential meaning can create depression, the three ways to actualize meaning in your life, whether meaning is something that is objective or subjective, the freedom we have to choose our attitude in all circumstances, including suffering, and more.Resources Related to the PodcastMan's Search for Meaning by Viktor FranklThe Doctor and the Soul by Viktor FranklViktor and I: The Life and Work of Viktor Frankl — Alexander's documentary about his grandfatherLiving Logotherapy by Elisabeth Lukas and Heidi Schönfeld Logotherapy Online AcademyViktor Frankl Institute Connect With Alexander VeselyAlexander at the Viktor Frankl InstituteAlexander on LinkedInAlexander on IG

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