If I Speak

Ash has a big theory about our growing fear of cringe. How does the internalisation of secondhand embarrassment change our behaviour? Is it possible that to be cringe is to be free? Plus: advice for a listener who’s become scared of sex.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

A weird interaction on the dancefloor gets Ash thinking about ambiguity. How do we balance the need for clear consent with the perks of mystery and uncertainty? Has growing up online increased our need for clarity? Plus: a friend who’s been separated from her besties.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

After quitting Instagram, Moya wonders if the concept of ‘healthy competition’ is a myth, and Ash explains how to hate with artistry. Plus: Taylor Swift chat (for the first 8 minutes, be warned!) and advice for a couple in a longterm sex drought.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

Ash and Moya talk about porn, sex work, desire, ‘duty sex’ and more in a conversation sparked by a mystery question. Is AI-generated porn driving viewers to more extreme content? Has OnlyFans made it harder to be a woman on the internet? Plus: advice for a bisexual woman who’s got history with her new housemate.

CN: This episode contains mentions of child sexual abuse at 18m and 23m.

Watch Ash’s interview with Patricia Nilsson, author of Guilty Pleasure: https://novara.media/patricia

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.

Moya and Ash get their nerd on with a conversation about the rise of convenience and the loss of enchantment. How can we access feelings of wonder in a world of quick fixes? Is friction the spice of life? (With reference to LOTR, Jaws and Tony Stark.) Plus: when a so-called friend can’t do the bare minimum.

The book Moya mentions is Gabe Bullard’s Against Convenience.

Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com

Music by Matt Huxley.